


A toga might actually look less ridiculous

by storiesfortravellers



Category: Batman (Comics)
Genre: Family, Gen, Greek Mythology - Freeform, Humor, Ilia - Freeform, Iliad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-12
Updated: 2012-10-12
Packaged: 2017-11-16 03:49:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/535152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/storiesfortravellers/pseuds/storiesfortravellers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ficlet, one-shot about the Joker telling Batman they're engaged in a mythic, epic battle like Hector and Achilles.  Batman responds (sort of).</p>
            </blockquote>





	A toga might actually look less ridiculous

**Author's Note:**

> Written for comment_fic on Livejournal, Prompt was Batman/Joker, Hector and Achilles

The Joker squealed with laughter at his victory as a drugged Batman struggled to stay conscious. Joker tied Batman's foot to the back of his purple car and started the engine. Leaving the engine running, he got out and ran back to Batman.

"What's the matter, Batsie? Can't move?" Joker said, straddling Batman and leaning close so his smile intruded the space right above Batman's face.

"You know, Bats, Achilles tied Hector up and dragged him around too. As an expression of love! Heeeheeeheee!! But seriously, Hector was the PROTECTOR and he was noble and good and kind and wanted to protect his city from all harm. And Achilles was this extremely HANDSOME man who had a bit of a hot temper and was willing to let all the Greeks go down in flames because it amused him. And here's the kicker, and I know this is the part that will interest you - ACHILLES, not Hector the protector, is the hero of the story. The epic is about him. Because those noble protector sorts? They're not interesting enough for poets to spend that much time on!! Oh and the other thing? They're losers! Losers who die at the hands of people like me!"

The Joker laughed with his wide mouth, saliva specks and foul breath descending on Batman's face. His smile quickly turned to shock, though, as Robin snuck up behind him and sent a painful amount of voltage into him.

Robin restrained the Joker and immediately administered the antidote to Batman.

"You were right," Robin said, "he was so sure he had you that he left himself wide open with no protection."

"Hubris has always been his flaw," Batman said solemnly.

"That, and not reading the sequel," Robin replied. At Batman's questioning look, Robin continued with a grin, "Achilles doesn't get to go home victorious. He gets shot by Hector's little brother."


End file.
